How strange that I am writing this today and not 4 months ago!
We finally managed to get enough money to visit our families in South Africa after 2½ years away. Once the tickets were booked in October 2011, the excitement we felt was beyond words. Words could not describe the joy I felt. We left Adelaide for Malaysia on 26 November and left Johannesburg for Malaysia on 17 Jan 2012. Wow! What a roller coaster of a holiday. I needed a holiday to recuperate. Thank goodness school was only commencing in 2 weeks and we got the chance to kick back and relax.
The almost 2 months we spent with our families can be described as:
busy
fun
joyful
enjoyable
silly
exhausting
exhilirating
inspiring
sad
love-filled
food-filled
family-filled
full of laughter
reflective
eye-opening
uplifting
We had no time to ourselves and eventually after a particulalrly selfish (not us) discussion with some family members, we took some well-deserved time off for ourselves. We could not wait to get back to Adelaide. On our next visit, some things would have to change.....
South Africa remains for me my home. It is where I learned everything I need to survive so far away from home. It is a warm, vibrant country, where (almost) everyone smiles, people are friendly, clothes are cheap, as are full-body massages. It is a place where I know I have my family to watch my children, my children have their cousins to play with, their aunts to make snacks and spoil them with love, attention and $$$$, uncles who help them break the rules, and grandparents who just love, love, love!
In the midst of all these wonderful attributes, are attitudes which are really and truly sad.... attitudes which are not unique to South Africa, but which I am able to see because of being away so long.
I love the simplicity of life here in Adelaide. A laid-back, un-busy (if you can call it that) life. A life where I am able to stay home and fulfill my need and desire to nurture my family. I am sometimes sad and lonely and yearn for my family and friends who I share a history with. But right now, right here is where we need to be.... For His Glory
Where are you right now? Is it the place He wants you to be in? If so, make sure you don't forget that He has set you apart in that place. You are there for His Glory
Tuesday 10 April 2012
Tuesday 13 September 2011
The Story Book Trail: Unmerited Favour and Unconditional Love
I took my girls, and went to a place called Carrick Hill here in Adelaide, South Australia. A friend had invited us to go and have a look at the Story Book Trail they have set up there. It rained.... and we got a bit wet, but we managed to have a look at some really interesting scenes from popular stories that were set up in the beautiful Gardens of Carrick hill: Winnie the Pooh, Tiddalik the Frog, Wind in the Willows, The Hobbit, Three Billy Goats Gruff, Quidditch Tree (Harry Potter), The Jungle Book and Animalia, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, The Magic Faraway Tree and Charlottes Web.
Carrick Hill is a beautiful, old restored house with most of its original contents intact and the grounds are still the same size. It is green and well cared for, roses and fruit tress, shaped evergreens and manicured lawns. And in the midst of it, all these scenes set up.
It got me wondering about my own life and what would the scenes be at various parts of my life, would there be an ugly troll lurking under a curved bridge or a Big Brave Aslan coming to save me and teach me life lessons in Narnia. Whatever the theme of each chapter, a common thread runs through my life God's GRACE (UNMERITED FAVOUR) and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
I'm going to spend some time pondering the chapters in the story of my life and remind myself that God has given me enough grace for the sphere I am in (from a message preached by Victoria Osteen). Whatever my circumstance, whatever my experience, God has given me grace for it. I am comfortable knowing that whatever happens, He has given me, already, enough Grace to go through it.His Grace is sufficient for each chapter of my life, it saves me and helps me to accomplish what I am not able to do on my own. His unmerited favour is more than enough for any circumstance.
Because of His grace, you don't have to live worried, wondering how you are going to make it. His grace is sufficient for your every need. When you're tempted to look ahead into tomorrow's worries, you can rest in God's grace knowing that He has fresh grace accompanying you each day to help you accomplish what's in front of you. God already has set into motion everything you need - not just to endure or barely make it. No, God's grace is a supernatural force breathing in your direction, causing you to rise above any situation. His wisdom, strength and favor are there. (courtesy of Joel and Victoria Osteen).
Imagine living your life with this knowledge: His grace is sufficient for your every need.
Dear Lord, help me to always remember that your grace is sufficient for me and that when I am weak, you are strong.
For more info on Carrick Hill: http://www.carrickhill.sa.gov.au/events_calendar.html
Carrick Hill is a beautiful, old restored house with most of its original contents intact and the grounds are still the same size. It is green and well cared for, roses and fruit tress, shaped evergreens and manicured lawns. And in the midst of it, all these scenes set up.
It got me wondering about my own life and what would the scenes be at various parts of my life, would there be an ugly troll lurking under a curved bridge or a Big Brave Aslan coming to save me and teach me life lessons in Narnia. Whatever the theme of each chapter, a common thread runs through my life God's GRACE (UNMERITED FAVOUR) and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
I'm going to spend some time pondering the chapters in the story of my life and remind myself that God has given me enough grace for the sphere I am in (from a message preached by Victoria Osteen). Whatever my circumstance, whatever my experience, God has given me grace for it. I am comfortable knowing that whatever happens, He has given me, already, enough Grace to go through it.His Grace is sufficient for each chapter of my life, it saves me and helps me to accomplish what I am not able to do on my own. His unmerited favour is more than enough for any circumstance.
Because of His grace, you don't have to live worried, wondering how you are going to make it. His grace is sufficient for your every need. When you're tempted to look ahead into tomorrow's worries, you can rest in God's grace knowing that He has fresh grace accompanying you each day to help you accomplish what's in front of you. God already has set into motion everything you need - not just to endure or barely make it. No, God's grace is a supernatural force breathing in your direction, causing you to rise above any situation. His wisdom, strength and favor are there. (courtesy of Joel and Victoria Osteen).
Imagine living your life with this knowledge: His grace is sufficient for your every need.
Dear Lord, help me to always remember that your grace is sufficient for me and that when I am weak, you are strong.
For more info on Carrick Hill: http://www.carrickhill.sa.gov.au/events_calendar.html
Sunday 11 September 2011
The busyness of mothering and family-hood
It is the 2nd week of September 2011 and I am busy sorting out tax info, trying to tie up the loose ends of a house transfer after selling our property,getting into a routine of exercising and watching what I eat, cooking, cleaning, washing, bathing kids, cutting out sugar, laughing for absolutely no reason at all, drinking more water (for me 1 glass is more than I normally have... haha!), keep up with swimming fees (even tho I pay them every month), monitor sight words, go to church, be a good friend, practice kindness and gratitude, and so, so much more....
Life certainly gets busy in my home. Being a mom and wife can certainly make one feel overwhelmed and anxious at times. I am glad to be a SAHM because I certainly would not be able to cope with more than this. I take my hat off to the mums who do work (full or part time) and still make time for their families.
I was actually pondering my age and my mum's and realised that when my mum was my age (37) she had an 18 year old daughter (me) and had so much more on her plate. And that she was only 25 when she had children as old as mine.... wow Mum! Whenever I am in doubt of what I am capable of, I look at you and dad and remind myself that I come from such strong stock. I am an amazing combination of both my parents; strengths and weaknesses, and growing up with my brother and sister have shaped and moulded me. As a baby, I was introduced to the church and Jesus and the amazing love of God. It has sustained me through all my years. I will continue to nurture this relationship with our Lord because it is the source of all my strength and comfort. So in the busyness of mothering and family-hood, I am always reminded that Jesus is the foundation and at the centre of my life. I have also been reminded very gently to sit at His feet and listen to Him speak and not get lost in the busyness of mothering and family-hood.
Dear Lord, Help me to balance the Martha and Mary in me.....
Life certainly gets busy in my home. Being a mom and wife can certainly make one feel overwhelmed and anxious at times. I am glad to be a SAHM because I certainly would not be able to cope with more than this. I take my hat off to the mums who do work (full or part time) and still make time for their families.
I was actually pondering my age and my mum's and realised that when my mum was my age (37) she had an 18 year old daughter (me) and had so much more on her plate. And that she was only 25 when she had children as old as mine.... wow Mum! Whenever I am in doubt of what I am capable of, I look at you and dad and remind myself that I come from such strong stock. I am an amazing combination of both my parents; strengths and weaknesses, and growing up with my brother and sister have shaped and moulded me. As a baby, I was introduced to the church and Jesus and the amazing love of God. It has sustained me through all my years. I will continue to nurture this relationship with our Lord because it is the source of all my strength and comfort. So in the busyness of mothering and family-hood, I am always reminded that Jesus is the foundation and at the centre of my life. I have also been reminded very gently to sit at His feet and listen to Him speak and not get lost in the busyness of mothering and family-hood.
Dear Lord, Help me to balance the Martha and Mary in me.....
Thursday 11 August 2011
Nothing happens to me that has not first passed through His hands.....(read this somwhere, it's not an original quote)
Being a mother is never easy. You are in a position of extreme vulnerability, your weaknesses are exposed, your patience tried, your heart taken out of your body and laid bare for all to see. You learn that you are on standby 24-7-365. You are everything to your children when they are born. impacting everything in their lives. I am a mother of 2 very special little girls. They tug at my heart strings more so because of what they have already overcome in their young lives.I call them One and Two.
When One was 3months old, she was extremely ill and had to be hospitalised. She was diagnosed with Reflux in her bladder. Since then her health has always been something which brought much anxiety for my husband and I. 4 Years later we went through a period of intense emotional pain when noone could tell us what was wrong with her. Tests (incl TB, Cancer and AIDS/HIV) and doctors could not help. But, she had a small operation to remove her tonsils and Wow! She recovered and has to date, not experienced the same symptoms.We are grateful to God for the supports He put in place to help us through that time. Finally, last year she had an operation to fix the reflux in her bladder. When she was ill one day, she asked why she couldn't go out and play like her cousins. I answered the only way I knew, "only God knows..." and she decided to ask God. Raising her eyes to the heavens, she said "Jesus, why I gotta be so sick. Please heal me.U betta heal me."
When I look back and see all that One has been through I am humbled by the Hand of God in everything.
When Two was born, she was well. 10 Months later she was diagnosed as having Type I Diabetes, after going into Diabetic Ketone Acidosis. She was immediately put onto an Insulin Pump and our relocation from South Africa to Australia was put on hold, while we dealt with this. Eventually, we moved to Adelaide and started going to WCH in Adelaide. We have a good doctor and good nurse educators who advised us to upgrade Two to a new pump which would better manage her insulin delivery. Hallelujah! We are now on a Medtronic MiniMed Pump, colour Blue (Two's favourite colour). It's been 2 weeks and we are still transitioning, still dealing with the challenges that come from anything new.
7 years ago, I could not have imagined my life being this way. I could not imagine having my Faith tried and tested like this. A friend told me when I was at my lowest not ask "Why L:ord Why?" but to know that God in His Wisdom knew what was already happening.
I struggle to pray, to commit again to the Lord in the way I have always been committed. I struggle to talk to Him and tell Him I love Him, afraid of what could happen to me. I am afraid to lay my soul bare before Him. I think back to when the girls were sick and I know that the anger that I feel because if all that has happened to them is what is holding me back.Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord, I know He Loves Me. But, being intimate with Him scares me so much..... I have become the person who goes to church because that is what I have always done. I pray, but am afraid to let go. I sing to Him instead, because I can stop when I want to. I am a good person, I am kind to people, care for my family,. tell the truth, don't steal, helpful, do the right thing almost always. But this niggling little feeling I have reminds of a primitive bond I am missing. A friend defined primitive bond as "early in existence or development; a self defining bond; those which cannot be replaced or eradicated; almost evolutionary." (used with permission).
This is the bond I share with the Lord... primitive. Something which has always existed in my life, a bond which defines me, it cannot be replaced or eradicated. It is evolutionary and must grow as I grow.
Lord, help me find the way, bring me back to you.....
When One was 3months old, she was extremely ill and had to be hospitalised. She was diagnosed with Reflux in her bladder. Since then her health has always been something which brought much anxiety for my husband and I. 4 Years later we went through a period of intense emotional pain when noone could tell us what was wrong with her. Tests (incl TB, Cancer and AIDS/HIV) and doctors could not help. But, she had a small operation to remove her tonsils and Wow! She recovered and has to date, not experienced the same symptoms.We are grateful to God for the supports He put in place to help us through that time. Finally, last year she had an operation to fix the reflux in her bladder. When she was ill one day, she asked why she couldn't go out and play like her cousins. I answered the only way I knew, "only God knows..." and she decided to ask God. Raising her eyes to the heavens, she said "Jesus, why I gotta be so sick. Please heal me.U betta heal me."
When I look back and see all that One has been through I am humbled by the Hand of God in everything.
When Two was born, she was well. 10 Months later she was diagnosed as having Type I Diabetes, after going into Diabetic Ketone Acidosis. She was immediately put onto an Insulin Pump and our relocation from South Africa to Australia was put on hold, while we dealt with this. Eventually, we moved to Adelaide and started going to WCH in Adelaide. We have a good doctor and good nurse educators who advised us to upgrade Two to a new pump which would better manage her insulin delivery. Hallelujah! We are now on a Medtronic MiniMed Pump, colour Blue (Two's favourite colour). It's been 2 weeks and we are still transitioning, still dealing with the challenges that come from anything new.
7 years ago, I could not have imagined my life being this way. I could not imagine having my Faith tried and tested like this. A friend told me when I was at my lowest not ask "Why L:ord Why?" but to know that God in His Wisdom knew what was already happening.
I struggle to pray, to commit again to the Lord in the way I have always been committed. I struggle to talk to Him and tell Him I love Him, afraid of what could happen to me. I am afraid to lay my soul bare before Him. I think back to when the girls were sick and I know that the anger that I feel because if all that has happened to them is what is holding me back.Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord, I know He Loves Me. But, being intimate with Him scares me so much..... I have become the person who goes to church because that is what I have always done. I pray, but am afraid to let go. I sing to Him instead, because I can stop when I want to. I am a good person, I am kind to people, care for my family,. tell the truth, don't steal, helpful, do the right thing almost always. But this niggling little feeling I have reminds of a primitive bond I am missing. A friend defined primitive bond as "early in existence or development; a self defining bond; those which cannot be replaced or eradicated; almost evolutionary." (used with permission).
This is the bond I share with the Lord... primitive. Something which has always existed in my life, a bond which defines me, it cannot be replaced or eradicated. It is evolutionary and must grow as I grow.
Lord, help me find the way, bring me back to you.....
Sunday 7 August 2011
What is the measure of a good friend?
I had a wonderful cyber-chat with an old friend today. Not old as in age, old as in the number of years we have known each other. It always amazes me at how much we have to talk about even though we have lived in different countries for such a long time. She married when she was in her 20's and her children are now teenagers. I married when I turned 30 and mine are still babies.... We are in different stages of life, yet we are in the same place...
Quite often we gossip, but mostly we just chat. She helps me to destress after or before (haha!) a long day or when I just need a chat. There are no pretences or airs and flairs.... just honest-to-goodness friendship and for this I am grateful. She just is a good friend. Today she commented on my current experience with FB friends: What's sitting in your heart if you see only the points to be criticised rather than those to be shouted from the rooftops as blessings or worse, see the need to criticise where there none- or to do so because of your own insecurities
So then what is the measure of a good friend? For me, it is someone who knows me and knows that I am imperfect, a work in progress - God's work in progress. And loves me just the same....
Quite often we gossip, but mostly we just chat. She helps me to destress after or before (haha!) a long day or when I just need a chat. There are no pretences or airs and flairs.... just honest-to-goodness friendship and for this I am grateful. She just is a good friend. Today she commented on my current experience with FB friends: What's sitting in your heart if you see only the points to be criticised rather than those to be shouted from the rooftops as blessings or worse, see the need to criticise where there none- or to do so because of your own insecurities
So then what is the measure of a good friend? For me, it is someone who knows me and knows that I am imperfect, a work in progress - God's work in progress. And loves me just the same....
Saturday 6 August 2011
Finally
The Procrastinator has finally done what she has threatened to do... started a blog! Yay. It's Sunday and I am not at church... what do you think of that?? I am blogging instead.
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